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To my love, my world, my Koishii, my dear Katie,

I am writing again. I am finding parts of my old self while reading and writing. Parts of me that were hidden away for so long, by fear, pride, and selfishness. Most of these will come off as ramblings, I apologize for that.

The aim of this is to say the things should be saying to you everyday. This is my first step. Again. I know its the nth "first step" but I'm hoping this will be the last first step. This will be a place where I check all of that at the door. Out with my pride, my fear, my selfishness. Here you will find me broken, bowed, humble and honest. Maybe here I can better convey some things that I struggle with in speech.

From my many philosophy readings and papers, I have compiled a sort of list of my own personal philosophy. This is something that my mom has urged me to do for some time, and I always thought it was silly and unnecessary, but now I see it is something I need to help ground myself for not only the struggles in life, but to help me get to the good parts, and everything in between. So, here's what I choose to live by.

The personal philosophy of Kevin Tadashi Koyanagi

1. Love those who deserve to be loved. Show them never-ending devotion and love. Make them know how powerful that love is. Show them everyday, they are what matter the most in this world. Trust them fully, for they love you, trust you, believe in you. Don't let them down, and show them that you trust them fully. Devote yourself fully to them. 
2. Carry yourself with your held held high. Do not be afraid of this world, for you have surrounded yourself with bright and shining individuals that will assist you when you need it. 
3. Actions carry infinitely more weight than words alone. Stay true to your word, but back it up and prove with overwhelming action
4. Strive for greatness. Strive to be bigger, better, stronger everyday. Always move forward, never backwards. Do not settle for the things that slow you down, for they are petty and only material. Love is forever.
5. Keep an open mind, you can be wrong too!
6. Do not judge, especially those you love and love you back. Take value of their opinions, but do not be hurt, they are just trying to make you into the best person you can be
7. Lead by example. You are a damn good leader, many people have told you this, show it!
8. Cherish the little things she does. You love them, you know you do. Cherish the bigger things, cherish everything she does and is. She is the best thing in your life, and you know it!
9. Be proud, but not prideful, arrogance just shoves the people you love away. 
10. Love yourself, the good and the bad. Its the only life you have, make the best of it, love yourself, you're kind of a cool guy :)

This is what I need to live my life by. Everyday. I just printed out this list and put it all around my house and in my phone. I am going to write about my feelings and I really want our relationship to be like, but that is for another time. This is the foundation that I need to live by, and I hope that this will radiate to all facets of my life. Above all, Katie, I love you to the bottom of my heart and soul. Don't forget it. I will make sure you never do.